Just last week I stepped onto the cancer conveyor belt and faced the possibility of my own death. Staring straight into the eyes of one's own mortality was probably the hardest thing I have ever faced. It was the most traumatic five days of my life. I tumbled off the cancer conveyor belt on Monday with an absolute all clear, I was to be here, I was getting to stay, my life was back on! So many aren't this lucky. In those five days I rolled out the worse case scenario and what I would need to do in order for my family to not only survive this but to thrive. I created a 'To Do' List which included writing the manual 'How To Run The Maddalena-Potter Home' for Rob. Details of how Christmass and Birthdays are run, down to food likes and dislikes, timetables and school runs. Booking them all into a grief counsellor for two years so they could all get the support they would need. Finding and hiring someone that could take on my role and raise Morgy for me; she's 4 and whilst Dadda is the Biz she would need her Mamma type cuddles and love. I started the list of videos I would need to film, Happy Birthday ones throughout the ages to vids about changing bodies, and periods, and sex and love and all those chats I wouldn't get to have. Setting up three email accounts for my children and popping the vids in there along with special pics and info for each child so they could access me, my knowledge and mum wisdom whenever they needed a mum hit. Only after I had planned how I could make it easier for them, (if that was even possible) did I look at what I could do to survive. I devoured several books and quickly decided to ditch the dairy and processed and to start really viewing food as my medicine. The realisation that we will all have to leave here at some point is a massive slap in the chops. Yes, we all know it but this kind of thing brings it well and truly home! And then on day 4 I popped. It all just fell away, the fear and the panic and the 'To Do' Lists and the mental load I didn't even know I had been carrying around with me, just fell away. I felt clear and calm and really really grateful that I was on the cancer conveyor belt and getting this sorted. Those five days made me really see my family like I had never seen them before. I could see through the moods and the arguments and the day to dayness of life and really really see them, it put everything into perspective. Life is short, so very very short and right now I feel so very very alive like I've been given a second chance. Everything seems to be in 'High Definition', Morgy's laugh, Lohkii's twinkle in his bright blue mischevious eyes, Jai recounting his latest scooter trick and Rob's gentle but solid touch; I'm soaking up every drop. I am their everything, their anchor, their whole lives and I feel so very blessed and honoured to have this life. I don't know where I was before, I wasn't 'here' that's for sure. Here is so very 'HERE' if you know what I mean? So keep checking those bossoms ladies, my signal was the pain, no lumps that I could feel, no redness or weird indentations, just pain. They found the lump using an ultrasound scan, luckily the biopsy came back all clear. So check your breasts and if you have any concerns go to the Doc, your life depends on it and your families will thank you for it. Love and Light, Trish x
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This is a conversation I had with one of our WiggleBums Teachers when we were having our monthly
1-2-1 business coaching session. We were discussing the training and how to convey the enormity of material we have here at WB's & how best to share that with the world. It's layer upon layer of psychological, physiological & spiritualogical (yeah that's not a word lol) expertise, that the Teaching Faculty brings to the WB's table. We have over 50 years worth of knowledge, insight and wisdom when you put us all together! All succinctly shared over the course of 8 full days training and 3 months of practice classes, self-study and assignments. As well as continuing business coaching, personal self-development and CPD's so our Teachers have the confidence, self-esteem & love for themselves and what they do. This just shines in all of their classes, whether they take them into School, Nursery's, Independant Classes or B'day Parties. They are true leaders in their field, leading by example in more ways than one! All of our Teachers say one thing, "It's been life-changing". And for me personally, every time I run a WiggleBums/Kids Training my perspective and perception expands, my heart grows and my connection to 'WHY' my sister and I do what we do deepens! The level of self-inquiry that happens on each training transforms each and everyone of us. We are the change we've been waiting for and by sharing our skills and information with each family that comes to our mats we can have a huge positive impact within our communities for many years to come. This is how we create the change we all want to see & it starts with each and everyone of us. From changing the language we use, the way that we speak, how we behave with ourselves and our children, deepening the connection with self. We intend to bring our knowledge and awareness, our love and our light to every city, town, village, school and nursery and we need YOU! For more information on how you can create a community hub for change, and become a WiggleBums/Kids Teacher taking this life changing yet fun classes of yoga and mindfulness into schools, nursery's and independant classes then please, click here: When we parent from the heart and not from our past programming, we help to form, create and guide a child into being the best they can be. When a child is parented through connection and not control, we see a child who is aligned with themselves, confident, happy and alright with the big feelings and situations they handle day to day. Because, they have someone who has their back, someone who doesn't shame and blame them for being human and not having the skills yet to navigate the tricky stuff. They can trust the process and relish being seen and heard and respected and guided through 'it' with love. They grow with a heightened emotional intelligence, an awareness that most adults only dream of, they grow 'whole' with a true sense of who they are and their place in this world. The work we are doing, when it comes to conscious parenting is super important and is helping co-create the kind of parents, children and community we all want to be and live in. It starts from our own kitchen table. When we parent through the shame, blame and punishment game we create a separation in the child, the impact of which can be felt for years and years to come! It can be really rather dismal and have huge detrimental effects. There are many tools and books and information out there to help establish connected Parenting skills that can help us all day to day. As well as processes that can help us come to terms with our own childhood so we can stop passing it on to our kids. Remember we only ever use the skills we have in the moment, so don't beat yourself up about the past and use any guilt as a signal that changes need to be made and start putting it out there for the conscious love and help that you need. To stay connected rather than spiralling our of control try this: C . A . L . M Connect - Connect back in with yourself. Soften your energy, soften your face, see them as the struggling little human they are. Connect with them, look them in the eyes, firmly but gently touch their body giving them a spacial sense of safety, bringing them back into their body. If they're not ready for touch remind them that you are here and will always be here for them, no matter what. And then stay with them. Awareness - Help them come out of their BIG feelings by asking them to: Feel their feet on the ground - Look around - what can you see - pick their favourite colours to find and look at. Listen - What can you hear? Move - Shake it out, move it through the body, dance, wiggle, giggle, play punch a pillow. Then move from the space into another space that is a different space a calmer, cosy, safe space. Physically change your environment. Remember, we are not our behaviour and neither are our children. For more information on how you can make change: http://www.livingfree.eu/personal-sessions.html Learning the ABC's changed our family's life. This time last year I had a revelation. It was, in the big scheme of things, a pretty mini revelation, but to me, it proved something that I had suspected for a while. I was working as a Marketing Manager for a mental health charity and had become used to hearing stories from our service users of how practising yoga or meditation had made a real difference to their mental health. In fact, after going on a few staff training workshops and remembering how much I enjoyed yoga, singing and dance, I rejoined a choir, was practicing yoga and was starting to really feel the benefits of spending time doing things that made me happy. I had started to talk to my kids about my job and the people that I had met through it, and about the different things people did to feel calm and in more control of their emotions. Which was why when my daughter started to scream at her little brother for standing on her drawing, I immediately went into my 'don't worry, it's ok, take a deep breath' spiel. Normally this resulted in her screaming 'NO!' at me You see, with those words, "don't worry, it's ok" I was simply brushing her massive feelings under the carpet. Instead, I acknowledge her and how she was feeling by saying, "I can see you're feeling really cross right now and I'm not surprised. It's a beautiful drawing, nobody ought to stand on it, but look it's not damaged and he didn't do it on purpose. Remember your breath." I then gave her all of my attention and consciously connected with her, and she yelled, 'I am SO cross. I hate him! I'm taking a deep breath...' and then she actually did take a deep breath, and then another and another. After 30 seconds or so she looked over at us both and said 'I'm ok now. I was so cross. I'm going outside on the trampoline now.' And off she went to bounce in the sunshine." Here's the ABC's broken down: Step 1: Acknowledge where your child is emotionally, by naming the feeling. This validates them and makes them feel listened to and heard. Step 2: Breathe with them. Deep strong breaths in through the nose and long slow breaths out through their mouths will settle the emotions bringing about a feeling of Calm. Step 3: Connect with them. Look them in their eyes, soften your face and hold them in your heart, remembering they're little and are simply having a hard time. Following the A B C's will help your child move through difficult feelings and situations quickly and easily. I use it every day, it's changed our lives. I was astonished that she had been able to calm herself down without me was a revelation. That she had felt that something we had talked about helping other people, could help her and she had given it a go without prompting was a revelation. A mini revelation, but an important revelation. At work, I had written an article about the importance of mental health literacy, and here it was in action with my daughter. That she could identify her emotions and think of a way to help herself through that feeling was a big step to her realising that she was in charge of her body and the way that she felt. After meltdowns, tantrums and grumps, with me feeling as though I was always dealing with them the wrong way, she was finding her own style of dealing with big emotions. A year on I have now trained as a yoga teacher for pre-school kids. At Wigglebums our sessions incorporate story telling, singing, dancing and sensory play into our yoga and the emphasis is on fun. Our classes are all about strengthening communication and learning, as well as confidence, and of course healthy bodies and minds. We realise how important it is to talk about our emotions and to talk about our children's emotions. Helping children to regulate their emotions doesn't necessarily happen overnight. Science tells us that parts of the human brain critical to handling emotions aren't fully developed until we're way into our twenties, but we can take little steps to help our children when they're young to recognise their feelings. Wigglebums combines movement with mindfulness - both fantastic tools for relaxing and feeling in control of your emotions. Wigglebums sessions are a really great way to bond, reconnect and learn more about each other and also other families in the community. Adults and children can play together, be silly together and unleash their inner animal faces! Children love being physically close to their parents and especially climbing on them - Wigglebums sessions often involve a lot of peeking through a grown ups legs or crawling over their backs! Practicing yoga with your child can lead to a feeling of being united, energised, rejuvenated and balanced in body and mind. It also lays really good foundations for good mental health well-being in later life. If you are interested in attending a class or just finding out a little bit more about what we do have a look at https://www.wigglebums.uk or https://www.lushtums.co.uk/wigglebums/ By Jo Yates - WiggleBums & WiggleKidz Teacher |
AuthorWiggleBums Teachers, Parents & Children Archives
October 2021
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