Connection not Control
When we parent from the heart and not from our past programming, we help to form, create and guide a child into being the best they can be.
When a child is parented through connection and not control, we see a child who is aligned with themselves, confident, happy and alright with the big feelings and situations they handle day to day.
Because, they have someone who has their back, someone who doesn't shame and blame them for being human and not having the skills yet to navigate the tricky stuff.
They can trust the process and relish being seen and heard and respected and guided through 'it' with love.
They grow with a heightened emotional intelligence, an awareness that most adults only dream of, they grow 'whole' with a true sense of who they are and their place in this world.
The work we are doing, when it comes to conscious parenting is super important and is helping co-create the kind of parents, children and community we all want to be and live in.
It starts from our own kitchen table.
When we parent through the shame, blame and punishment game we create a separation in the child, the impact of which can be felt for years and years to come! It can be really rather dismal and have huge detrimental effects.
There are many tools and books and information out there to help establish connected Parenting skills that can help us all day to day. As well as processes that can help us come to terms with our own childhood so we can stop passing it on to our kids.
Remember we only ever use the skills we have in the moment, so don't beat yourself up about the past and use any guilt as a signal that changes need to be made and start putting it out there for the conscious love and help that you need.
To stay connected rather than spiralling our of control try this:
C . A . L . M
Connect - Connect back in with yourself. Soften your energy, soften your face, see them as the struggling little human they are. Connect with them, look them in the eyes, firmly but gently touch their body giving them a spacial sense of safety, bringing them back into their body.
If they're not ready for touch remind them that you are here and will always be here for them, no matter what.
And then stay with them.
Awareness - Help them come out of their BIG feelings by asking them to:
Feel their feet on the ground - Look around - what can you see - pick their favourite colours to find and look at.
Listen - What can you hear?
Move - Shake it out, move it through the body, dance, wiggle, giggle, play punch a pillow.
Then move from the space into another space that is a different space a calmer, cosy, safe space.
Physically change your environment.
Remember, we are not our behaviour and neither are our children.
For more information on how you can make change:
WiggleBums Teachers, Parents & Children